What does it mean to be ‘bad at goodbyes’? I mean, that could go so many ways. Some people might cry whenever they say goodbye, or some get depressed, or some get really clingy. But I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who does what I do. At least, I’ve never discussed it with anyone I know.
I rarely get distressed when it comes to saying goodbye. I’ve always thought of it as a temporary thing, so why get upset? I know when I say goodbye, I’m going to be able to say hello again at some point in the future. Call me an optimist or a religious zealot, but it’s just how I think about it. For example, when I first left for Pennsylvania, the only person I cried over was Teresa. When I left Etown to come home, the only person I cried over was Stepf. I didn’t even cry when I said goodbye to the girl I’d been living with the entire year—the girl I’d immediately become attached to and called family.
Does this make me bad at goodbyes?
I don’t think so. I think I have much better things to waste my tears on and more than one reason to be happy. Why cry over a temporary absence?
You’re probably wondering where this is coming from. No, I didn’t just randomly sit down and start thinking about this today. It was a couple days ago that I really looked at this issue with any real concern. But I felt like I needed to write it all down because now I’m dealing with more than just a temporary goodbye.
My great Uncle Larry died last night. To be honest, I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again. It’s not like I was really close with him, but he did add so much laughter and happiness to family gatherings that I can’t help but be…bothered by this. But I didn’t cry. It didn’t even really hit me until just now. He’s gone. And I still can’t cry. I’m not terribly sad. I’m still able to laugh about the characters I’m reading about, and I’m still feeling normal and relaxed.
Maybe I really just started thinking about this when my mom asked me what was wrong with me.
Is there something wrong with me? Am I the real definition of ‘bad at goodbyes’?
Friday, July 24, 2009
Friday, July 17, 2009
Day Sixteen: Harry Potter
Two words: Harry Potter.
Saw it at midnight with Jenelle, Claire, Brandy, and some chick whose name I still can’t remember. It was amazing. There are three scenes that are absolutely hysterical and so well acted that my entire impression of the movie was based solely on them. And then the romance between Harry and Ginny…my God, it was fantastic. It almost felt like their chemistry was so heated that it was improper to watch. Like it was one of those things couples do that just shouldn’t be in public. Something sweetly private. Not raunchy private. Just sweet. And kinda funny.
Remember kids: wear protection when tying shoelaces.
Anyway, the romance stuck with the book perfectly. Before the sixth book, all the romantic urges Harry has are kind of shadowed by the ‘OMGVoldemortisbackOMG’ factor. In the sixth one, though, the ‘monster’ inside Harry is mentioned frequently, and his notice of Ginny much more pronounced. The movie did an excellent job of bringing that out. Every so often, there are little scenes between Harry and Ginny that weren’t in the book but are totally perfect, so it doesn’t even matter if they were written beforehand or not.
Going back to the good acting part, I really think being on Broadway and on stage in London helped Dan Radcliffe. He kept to Harry’s character and delivered his lines sooo much better. Especially in the love potion scene and the Felix Felicis scene. They were played out exactly as I had imagined them—only better. And Rupert Grint in the love potion scene was amazing. He’s always been a talented actor and I think going out for other movies really helped him improve, too. Driving Lessons is one of my favorite movies because of him. And now he’s in Cherry Bombs, which I really want to see. As for Emma Watson, she finally learned how to control her overactive eyebrow syndrome. It’s much more enjoyable watching her now. She really is very pretty and talented. And her interaction with Rupert was awesome. They fully captured the awkwardness and the sweetness of Ron and Hermione’s relationship.
Bonnie Wright. Oh my God. I love her. I’ve always loved her. I’ve always thought she was gorgeous and perfect for Ginny. No one else believed me until they saw this movie. The first thing Claire said when she came on screen was, “Oh, she’s pretty now.” WRONG. She’s always been pretty, they just put make up on her to make her look young and ordinary. She was supposed to blossom in the sixth book. Rowling even emphasized how much she had changed in her looks by making the Slytherins mention her beauty. So, yeah. As usual, I was right. Hah.
Now for my favorite: Tom Felton. That kid is so awesome. He might not be as cute as he used to be (circa movies one and two), but he’s not ugly. And when he was in the bathroom crying, it was perfect. And the scene on top of the north tower. The way he looked sick and exhausted and desperate—perfect.
They all just really stepped up their game in this movie and it shows. I’ve seen it twice now and it’s still just as amazing. Hopefully, I’ll be seeing it again next weekend. :) Oh, Harry Potter. I love this stuff. Really, really love it.
Saw it at midnight with Jenelle, Claire, Brandy, and some chick whose name I still can’t remember. It was amazing. There are three scenes that are absolutely hysterical and so well acted that my entire impression of the movie was based solely on them. And then the romance between Harry and Ginny…my God, it was fantastic. It almost felt like their chemistry was so heated that it was improper to watch. Like it was one of those things couples do that just shouldn’t be in public. Something sweetly private. Not raunchy private. Just sweet. And kinda funny.
Remember kids: wear protection when tying shoelaces.
Anyway, the romance stuck with the book perfectly. Before the sixth book, all the romantic urges Harry has are kind of shadowed by the ‘OMGVoldemortisbackOMG’ factor. In the sixth one, though, the ‘monster’ inside Harry is mentioned frequently, and his notice of Ginny much more pronounced. The movie did an excellent job of bringing that out. Every so often, there are little scenes between Harry and Ginny that weren’t in the book but are totally perfect, so it doesn’t even matter if they were written beforehand or not.
Going back to the good acting part, I really think being on Broadway and on stage in London helped Dan Radcliffe. He kept to Harry’s character and delivered his lines sooo much better. Especially in the love potion scene and the Felix Felicis scene. They were played out exactly as I had imagined them—only better. And Rupert Grint in the love potion scene was amazing. He’s always been a talented actor and I think going out for other movies really helped him improve, too. Driving Lessons is one of my favorite movies because of him. And now he’s in Cherry Bombs, which I really want to see. As for Emma Watson, she finally learned how to control her overactive eyebrow syndrome. It’s much more enjoyable watching her now. She really is very pretty and talented. And her interaction with Rupert was awesome. They fully captured the awkwardness and the sweetness of Ron and Hermione’s relationship.
Bonnie Wright. Oh my God. I love her. I’ve always loved her. I’ve always thought she was gorgeous and perfect for Ginny. No one else believed me until they saw this movie. The first thing Claire said when she came on screen was, “Oh, she’s pretty now.” WRONG. She’s always been pretty, they just put make up on her to make her look young and ordinary. She was supposed to blossom in the sixth book. Rowling even emphasized how much she had changed in her looks by making the Slytherins mention her beauty. So, yeah. As usual, I was right. Hah.
Now for my favorite: Tom Felton. That kid is so awesome. He might not be as cute as he used to be (circa movies one and two), but he’s not ugly. And when he was in the bathroom crying, it was perfect. And the scene on top of the north tower. The way he looked sick and exhausted and desperate—perfect.
They all just really stepped up their game in this movie and it shows. I’ve seen it twice now and it’s still just as amazing. Hopefully, I’ll be seeing it again next weekend. :) Oh, Harry Potter. I love this stuff. Really, really love it.
Day Four: On Friendship
I need to actually start posting these things, but I was so fed up with YouTube last night, that I failed in doing this.
Anyway, the topic of discussion today is friendship. I wrote two letters yesterday, one to Teresa and one to Coco. Long story short, the themes of the two letters were wildly different. But they made me think. I just started writing down all my thoughts of what I would like to say, and then more thoughts kind of came to me as I writing the first ones down, and by the time I was finished writing these letters, I was completely emotionally drained. It was really intense.
I talked to Matt last night after I got to thinking about all of it again, and I was crying and trying to figure out what to do, and he made everything better. I feel like I should write him a letter, too.
I’m not going to go into specifics because I don’t want to make this issue public, even if only a couple people actually read this. But I’ll put the general…idea out there. Teresa and I are having some problems. And maybe it’s my overactive imagination at work here, and maybe I’m blowing things out of proportion, but I am genuinely hurt by what’s going on. I’m not sure if it’s her issue or if it’s my issue, but I want to do something about it. That’s what talking to Matt did. It made me motivated enough to grow some balls and actually do something. We’re going to talk on Saturday and, hopefully, work out all our issues. Or possibly create newer, bigger ones. Either way, I know for a fact that I’m not just going to disappear from her life, no matter what stupid thing she does or whatever bitchy things I do, because she’s been a big part of my life for the last two years. Inconsistent, but still a part of it. I can’t fault her for that because I do the same thing. Out of sight, out of mind. But when I come back, everyone I’ve forgotten is still here waiting for me like nothing happened. That means everything to me. I hope it means just as much to Teresa.
My sophomore or junior year of high school, I got a list of quotes on friendship to use for some project or essay. I wish I still had those quotes, because they were beautiful. But I remember one because I wrote a blog about it the night I got the quotes: “A true friend doesn’t jump off the edge of a cliff with you; they wait at the bottom to catch you when you fall.”
I live by that quote. I always want to be waiting at the bottom. I always want someone waiting for me at the bottom. I don’t know how well I’m doing in this endeavor, but I know how many amazing people I have catching me when I fall, and that’s what helps me wake up every morning.
So, yeah. Friendship.
Thanks. It means a lot more to me than I ever say out loud. :)
Anyway, the topic of discussion today is friendship. I wrote two letters yesterday, one to Teresa and one to Coco. Long story short, the themes of the two letters were wildly different. But they made me think. I just started writing down all my thoughts of what I would like to say, and then more thoughts kind of came to me as I writing the first ones down, and by the time I was finished writing these letters, I was completely emotionally drained. It was really intense.
I talked to Matt last night after I got to thinking about all of it again, and I was crying and trying to figure out what to do, and he made everything better. I feel like I should write him a letter, too.
I’m not going to go into specifics because I don’t want to make this issue public, even if only a couple people actually read this. But I’ll put the general…idea out there. Teresa and I are having some problems. And maybe it’s my overactive imagination at work here, and maybe I’m blowing things out of proportion, but I am genuinely hurt by what’s going on. I’m not sure if it’s her issue or if it’s my issue, but I want to do something about it. That’s what talking to Matt did. It made me motivated enough to grow some balls and actually do something. We’re going to talk on Saturday and, hopefully, work out all our issues. Or possibly create newer, bigger ones. Either way, I know for a fact that I’m not just going to disappear from her life, no matter what stupid thing she does or whatever bitchy things I do, because she’s been a big part of my life for the last two years. Inconsistent, but still a part of it. I can’t fault her for that because I do the same thing. Out of sight, out of mind. But when I come back, everyone I’ve forgotten is still here waiting for me like nothing happened. That means everything to me. I hope it means just as much to Teresa.
My sophomore or junior year of high school, I got a list of quotes on friendship to use for some project or essay. I wish I still had those quotes, because they were beautiful. But I remember one because I wrote a blog about it the night I got the quotes: “A true friend doesn’t jump off the edge of a cliff with you; they wait at the bottom to catch you when you fall.”
I live by that quote. I always want to be waiting at the bottom. I always want someone waiting for me at the bottom. I don’t know how well I’m doing in this endeavor, but I know how many amazing people I have catching me when I fall, and that’s what helps me wake up every morning.
So, yeah. Friendship.
Thanks. It means a lot more to me than I ever say out loud. :)
Day Three: On Numbers
I am always only a number.
I came to this realization on my way to work today. I’ve experienced what it’s like on both sides of the fence when it comes to numbers. In high school, I was a number and, after the first few weeks of school, a name. In Etown, I was a name. At Grossmont, I am a number.
There’s something about anonymity that makes me feel safer, though. Teachers don’t pay too close of attention, so I can get away with slacking off a little bit. Back in Etown, if I missed an assignment, everyone knew. If I failed a test, everyone knew. If I got an A paper, everyone knew. Do you see a pattern here? But, still, it was nice to be a name and a face and a person instead of just a number. I wasn’t just a list of credentials on a piece of paper. I was a person—a student.
I’m out of Etown now, and I’m in California. If I stay here, no matter what happens, I’m going to be a number at some college. CSU’s are too big, and small private schools might not accept me as a student. So I’m going to be a number if I stay here for college.
That’s college, but what about life after college? Well, that’s simple enough. I’m still a number. I have been since birth. I put it on all my work applications, college applications, and everything else of any official matter. And I have to pay to keep my numerical identification.
My social security number.
No matter what I do, who I am, or where I’ve been, I will always be a number assigned to me by the government at birth.
Therefore, I am always only a number.
I came to this realization on my way to work today. I’ve experienced what it’s like on both sides of the fence when it comes to numbers. In high school, I was a number and, after the first few weeks of school, a name. In Etown, I was a name. At Grossmont, I am a number.
There’s something about anonymity that makes me feel safer, though. Teachers don’t pay too close of attention, so I can get away with slacking off a little bit. Back in Etown, if I missed an assignment, everyone knew. If I failed a test, everyone knew. If I got an A paper, everyone knew. Do you see a pattern here? But, still, it was nice to be a name and a face and a person instead of just a number. I wasn’t just a list of credentials on a piece of paper. I was a person—a student.
I’m out of Etown now, and I’m in California. If I stay here, no matter what happens, I’m going to be a number at some college. CSU’s are too big, and small private schools might not accept me as a student. So I’m going to be a number if I stay here for college.
That’s college, but what about life after college? Well, that’s simple enough. I’m still a number. I have been since birth. I put it on all my work applications, college applications, and everything else of any official matter. And I have to pay to keep my numerical identification.
My social security number.
No matter what I do, who I am, or where I’ve been, I will always be a number assigned to me by the government at birth.
Therefore, I am always only a number.
Day Seventeen: Ughhhh.
I swear I've been blogging every day. I just haven't been posting. But today that changes. I'll post everything I've written at some point. Later.
I woke up this morning, exactly ten minutes before my alarm, with cramps. Lovely, right? I thought so.
So I got up, went to the bathroom, took care of what needed to be done to make sure I didn't bleed out all over the place (which is really disgusting and hard to clean, by the way), and went out to the kitchen to take a handful of Midol 'cause I knew the cramps were only going to get worse. They always do. I then went back to bed, turned off my alarm, curled up into the fetal position as God's curse to women made itself known by way of intense uterine cramping, and picked up a book to read to distract myself until the Midol took effect.
I've heard women crave chocolate because it has caffeine and caffeine makes everything better. Therefore, I had a cup of coffee AND chocolate this morning. And now I'm chugging water because dehydration makes it worse. Which means bathroom trips every 45-60 minutes. And increased metabolism. So I'm hungry, thirsty, peeing, and in a constant state of, what I like to call, 'ugh.' Because the worst part of this first day is the feeling that your insides are turning to mush.
It's hard to explain how this feels.
It's not painful, not after the Midol or Advil kicks in. But there's this distinct feeling of grossness in the lower abdominal region. You know it SHOULD be hurting, but instead all there is is this discomfort that kinda makes you squirm because it's in between annoying and uncomfortable. But it doesn't hurt and it's not at the forefront of your mind. It's just there. You know it's there, but you can ignore it if you concentrate on something else. But the second you're done, it's there again. Like a tiny fly buzzing around in your brain.
For some reason, after all this happens, I start feeling like everything in my lower abdomen is one big, mushy pile of grossness. That hasn't hit me yet today, but I know it will. Especially if I'm standing or walking around. Sitting down, everything is okay. But, as I mentioned before, I have to pee a lot. So I'm getting up and walking and feeling like mush.
Ugh.
I woke up this morning, exactly ten minutes before my alarm, with cramps. Lovely, right? I thought so.
So I got up, went to the bathroom, took care of what needed to be done to make sure I didn't bleed out all over the place (which is really disgusting and hard to clean, by the way), and went out to the kitchen to take a handful of Midol 'cause I knew the cramps were only going to get worse. They always do. I then went back to bed, turned off my alarm, curled up into the fetal position as God's curse to women made itself known by way of intense uterine cramping, and picked up a book to read to distract myself until the Midol took effect.
I've heard women crave chocolate because it has caffeine and caffeine makes everything better. Therefore, I had a cup of coffee AND chocolate this morning. And now I'm chugging water because dehydration makes it worse. Which means bathroom trips every 45-60 minutes. And increased metabolism. So I'm hungry, thirsty, peeing, and in a constant state of, what I like to call, 'ugh.' Because the worst part of this first day is the feeling that your insides are turning to mush.
It's hard to explain how this feels.
It's not painful, not after the Midol or Advil kicks in. But there's this distinct feeling of grossness in the lower abdominal region. You know it SHOULD be hurting, but instead all there is is this discomfort that kinda makes you squirm because it's in between annoying and uncomfortable. But it doesn't hurt and it's not at the forefront of your mind. It's just there. You know it's there, but you can ignore it if you concentrate on something else. But the second you're done, it's there again. Like a tiny fly buzzing around in your brain.
For some reason, after all this happens, I start feeling like everything in my lower abdomen is one big, mushy pile of grossness. That hasn't hit me yet today, but I know it will. Especially if I'm standing or walking around. Sitting down, everything is okay. But, as I mentioned before, I have to pee a lot. So I'm getting up and walking and feeling like mush.
Ugh.
Friday, July 3, 2009
Blog Everyday in July: Day 2
I already failed at my blog everyday challenge.
It's really not my fault that my 45 minute nap turned into a nine hour nap. Really, it isn't.
Anyway, the reason I was so tired was because I woke up in the middle of the night with a tune and words going through my head, and I had to write it down. I haven't bothered to fix the pentameter because I like it's rhythm as is. I'm fine with writing the music to the words.
There's no title yet. I've just been calling it Elizabethtown. Also, there are some verses that I want to put in, but they don't fit yet, so...I'll try my best with this to make it work.
Elizabethtown
How could I forget?
How could I forget?
Don't forget about me
Please don't forget about me
RHPS at midnight
In spring, flying kites
Dance parties in the halls
"I'll kick you in the balls"
Non-carnivorous fish
What more can I say?
How could I forget?
How could I forget?
Don't forget about me
Please don't forget about me
Hardcore creepin'
"I'm fuckin' sleeping"
Police lights to Philly
All for Alex Day
Driving in snow
For Matt Maggiacomo
How could I forget?
How could I forget?
Don't forget about me
Please don't forget about me
One Sneeze Fail
What an epic tale
Days of silence
Pregaming is intense
Marriage proposals
And strange animals
How could I forget?
How could I forget?
Don't forget about me
I'll come back
I'm counting down the days
To see all your faces
All your smiles
'Cause I'll never forget
Music at midnight
Roommate lovin'
GLBT rights
All-night energy drinks
Friends that I have made
That became my family
I'll never forget you
I'll never forget you
Don't forget about me
Please don't forget about me.
End
I really need more Arslan stuff in there. I kind of just chose the big things that everyone remembers, but I want to add something about incense, late night walks, and photo shoots. Maybe vampires and slut-eating trees, too. I need more Nick and Arslan in the song. That's it. And more Sedrick. I should add something about muffins.
This song is never going to end.
It's really not my fault that my 45 minute nap turned into a nine hour nap. Really, it isn't.
Anyway, the reason I was so tired was because I woke up in the middle of the night with a tune and words going through my head, and I had to write it down. I haven't bothered to fix the pentameter because I like it's rhythm as is. I'm fine with writing the music to the words.
There's no title yet. I've just been calling it Elizabethtown. Also, there are some verses that I want to put in, but they don't fit yet, so...I'll try my best with this to make it work.
Elizabethtown
How could I forget?
How could I forget?
Don't forget about me
Please don't forget about me
RHPS at midnight
In spring, flying kites
Dance parties in the halls
"I'll kick you in the balls"
Non-carnivorous fish
What more can I say?
How could I forget?
How could I forget?
Don't forget about me
Please don't forget about me
Hardcore creepin'
"I'm fuckin' sleeping"
Police lights to Philly
All for Alex Day
Driving in snow
For Matt Maggiacomo
How could I forget?
How could I forget?
Don't forget about me
Please don't forget about me
One Sneeze Fail
What an epic tale
Days of silence
Pregaming is intense
Marriage proposals
And strange animals
How could I forget?
How could I forget?
Don't forget about me
I'll come back
I'm counting down the days
To see all your faces
All your smiles
'Cause I'll never forget
Music at midnight
Roommate lovin'
GLBT rights
All-night energy drinks
Friends that I have made
That became my family
I'll never forget you
I'll never forget you
Don't forget about me
Please don't forget about me.
End
I really need more Arslan stuff in there. I kind of just chose the big things that everyone remembers, but I want to add something about incense, late night walks, and photo shoots. Maybe vampires and slut-eating trees, too. I need more Nick and Arslan in the song. That's it. And more Sedrick. I should add something about muffins.
This song is never going to end.
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Blog Everyday in July: Day 1
I'm really starting this off with a bang:
I've got nothing to talk about!
Well, not really, anyway. I could talk about Harry Potter, but I'll be doing that the fourteenth and fifteenth days. I could also talk about work, but that's boring. I could talk about physics, but that's even more boring.
Hum. What to talk about...
Music, I guess. Coco had an epic fail, so nothing's been written yet. But, the song Nicole made for OMLS needs harmonies, so we're trying to figure out how to do a three-part harmony mix of it and have it be, like, the theme music. I seriously freakin' love that song. ('Cause this is one, O-N-E Madlib Summer, if you want, want to sing with me...) I wish I could just pull a song out of my ass like that. God.
I wrote more lyrics. One's called Beautiful People. I'm still working out the second one in my head. It'll be dedicated to all my Etown peeps, though, so it'll probably have a lot of inside jokes. I'll definitely have to write the music for that one myself. And learn how to play guitar...
Anyone wanna tutor me? :P
That actually brings me to my next news for the day: I got my first paycheck! Three days of work = $200. I LOVE MY MOTHER.
I'll be giving about $45 of it to my parents for using their money for recent purchases, but the rest is mine. :) I'm going to save fifteen for the Harry Potter movie, stick most of it in the bank, then use the rest to buy books. Nerdfighter win.
Speaking of Nerdfighters, I feel like I really belong in Nerdfighteria this summer. I'm working to get brand new heart monitor software out to the public, decreasing the size of my carbon footprint by carpooling with my mom, AND I'll be doing a lot of charity work, like food drives, and breast cancer walks. I think I've truly embraced what it means to be a nerdfighter. It's a lot more than just being intelligent, awesome, and well-read. It's about actually making a difference, even if it's only to one or two people. :)
I love being a nerdfighter.
Completely unrelated note:
I dropped the bomb on everyone yesterday. I've only been away for two months, and I had already forgotten how much those people mean to me. I was really considering not going back until I talked to Arslan and Stepf. That was when I remembered everything. I remembered why I loved it out there and why I can't stay away from those people for too long without going crazy. I didn't cry until Arslan told me the sweetest things about how he wished he'd told me goodbye with a giant hug instead of just the regular hug(s) he did give me. I didn't know I meant so much to him until he said so, and that was when it truly hit me that I HAVE to go back. They're my family just as much as my friends out here. I love being home and I love having unplanned moments and random kidnappings, but I also love living with forty other people and creating one huge, dysfunctional, incredible family.
Sigh.
Well, for the year that I'm here, I'm going to make the most of it. I've been listening to All Time Low for a while now, and I think my favorite line is from their song 'Weightless.' It really describes how I'm going to live for the next year until I can be back on the east coast.
"Maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year."
I've got nothing to talk about!
Well, not really, anyway. I could talk about Harry Potter, but I'll be doing that the fourteenth and fifteenth days. I could also talk about work, but that's boring. I could talk about physics, but that's even more boring.
Hum. What to talk about...
Music, I guess. Coco had an epic fail, so nothing's been written yet. But, the song Nicole made for OMLS needs harmonies, so we're trying to figure out how to do a three-part harmony mix of it and have it be, like, the theme music. I seriously freakin' love that song. ('Cause this is one, O-N-E Madlib Summer, if you want, want to sing with me...) I wish I could just pull a song out of my ass like that. God.
I wrote more lyrics. One's called Beautiful People. I'm still working out the second one in my head. It'll be dedicated to all my Etown peeps, though, so it'll probably have a lot of inside jokes. I'll definitely have to write the music for that one myself. And learn how to play guitar...
Anyone wanna tutor me? :P
That actually brings me to my next news for the day: I got my first paycheck! Three days of work = $200. I LOVE MY MOTHER.
I'll be giving about $45 of it to my parents for using their money for recent purchases, but the rest is mine. :) I'm going to save fifteen for the Harry Potter movie, stick most of it in the bank, then use the rest to buy books. Nerdfighter win.
Speaking of Nerdfighters, I feel like I really belong in Nerdfighteria this summer. I'm working to get brand new heart monitor software out to the public, decreasing the size of my carbon footprint by carpooling with my mom, AND I'll be doing a lot of charity work, like food drives, and breast cancer walks. I think I've truly embraced what it means to be a nerdfighter. It's a lot more than just being intelligent, awesome, and well-read. It's about actually making a difference, even if it's only to one or two people. :)
I love being a nerdfighter.
Completely unrelated note:
I dropped the bomb on everyone yesterday. I've only been away for two months, and I had already forgotten how much those people mean to me. I was really considering not going back until I talked to Arslan and Stepf. That was when I remembered everything. I remembered why I loved it out there and why I can't stay away from those people for too long without going crazy. I didn't cry until Arslan told me the sweetest things about how he wished he'd told me goodbye with a giant hug instead of just the regular hug(s) he did give me. I didn't know I meant so much to him until he said so, and that was when it truly hit me that I HAVE to go back. They're my family just as much as my friends out here. I love being home and I love having unplanned moments and random kidnappings, but I also love living with forty other people and creating one huge, dysfunctional, incredible family.
Sigh.
Well, for the year that I'm here, I'm going to make the most of it. I've been listening to All Time Low for a while now, and I think my favorite line is from their song 'Weightless.' It really describes how I'm going to live for the next year until I can be back on the east coast.
"Maybe it's not my weekend, but it's gonna be my year."
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