On Being a Part-Time Mom and Aspiring Novelist

So, I finished my first week of work. It's exhausting. It's frustrating. It's a crash course in parenthood. It's totally worth it.

I'm so glad I wasn't that girl in high school. You know the one. The one who got into adult life too soon and ended up knocked up her junior or senior year of high school with a baby daddy that didn't want anything to do with raising a kid. I honestly can't imagine how girls handle that at 16/17/18. Even now, when I'm almost 20, I can't imagine having my own child. I don't think people really understand what it means to be a parent. It means constant attention, sleepless nights, letting some things go all to hell, spending more money than you have, getting stressed out, wanting to just give up and knowing you can't, dealing with the constant worry of injuries or death. It's a LOT to handle. I only have to deal with these two kids from 8-5 every weekday. I don't think I could go a full 24 hours with them. I certainly couldn't handle twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week with them.

In short, I'm just really glad I wasn't that girl and that I've never had a pregnancy scare. I'm glad I'm beating teen pregnancy in a couple weeks. I'm glad I get to experience what it's like to deal with a fussy eight month old and a two year old who needs constant attention at the same time. I'm learning what it's like to be a part-time mom. I'm learning that just picking up the eight month old and carrying him around to all the windows will calm him down. I'm learning that if the two year old doesn't respond when I say things nicely, I have to add a little steel and authority and then she'll listen. I'm learning that, in order to get a two-year-old to take a nap, I need to bargain with her.

But that's enough about nanny duty. Let's move on to writing. You know, that thing I used to do before December started?

I edited the first 20-something pages of my NaNoWriMo novel right after November ended. Then I set it aside for most of December and just picked it up again a couple days ago. I now have the first 30 pages covered in red and black ink and bright yellow post-it notes. I discovered that I absolutely HATED a scene. Isn't that weird? When I wrote it, I thought it was awesome. And now, two months later, I'm thinking, "Why does this even exist? I realize it's important to the plot, but it's choppy, corny, not spontaneous enough, and way too dialogue-y." The problem was, I couldn't just ax the scene. It IS important to the plot because it sets up the main romance of the novel and gives more background information on another main character. Also, it shows the MAIN main character interacting with male friends that she has no romantic interest in, which is EXTREMELY important (though the average reader might not pick up on it). So, instead of actually editing the two and a half pages of slop, I wrote myself a note saying:
'Some of this section I really like, and some of it I really don't. Keep the general chain of events, but add more chemistry, detail, characterization and movement/plot.'
Basically, I cheated. When I go through and type up the edited draft, I'll have to rewrite the entire section with just that memo to myself to help me.

It's not like I'm being lazy. (You can call me on this. I totally am being lazy.) I haven't been in much of a writing mood lately and that affects my editing skills as well. How am I supposed to write something better when I can't seem to write anything at all?

But I do need to hurry this editing business up. I can still get my novel bound and shipped to me for free until June, but I want it to be the second draft so I'm not embarrassed to show it around. Besides, Jenelle's still working on the cover art, so I've got time to do the editing stuff.

All that said, I think I'm going to try and edit 30 pages a month from now on. So...

January: Up to page 60 should be edited
February: Up to page 90
March: Up to page 120
April: All 137 pages
May: Entire novel reviewed and revised
June: Send manuscript to CreateSpace

That's my rough time line. Knowing my work/sleep schedule, though, I'll probably be behind and will have to use May for finishing up the editing. Which will suck, but I'm gonna do it.

And now, I'm going to print pages 31-60, attach them to my clipboard, and immediately abandon them to play Sims. :)