Rrrrraaaaawwwwrrrr

I'm going to take a minute to go on a grammar rant. It's been building up inside me this entire week and I'm about to explode if I don't say something about it.

To prologue this story, I was told that one of my OneMadlibSummer cohorts had left a controversial comment on a Miley Cyrus video and I foolishly sifted through three pages of comments to find it. I gave up after a while because of one commenter.

Now, I've learned my lesson about YouTube comments and trending topics on twitter (usually, the trending topic is the only thing spelled correctly)(although, I did see one called 'youknowyouruglywhen', to which I replied, "My ugly did WHAT?"). I avoid comments at all costs because it just makes me sad. Truth be told, I recanted my idea of becoming an English teacher because I knew I would have to deal with mostly illiterate teenagers and I knew I couldn't handle that. I would seriously throw a fit. Like this:
"Here, Miss Stamper, here's my paper."
"You dumbass, the period goes at the end of the sentence."
"There isn't a period there."
"I know. You need one."
"But that isn't the end of the sentence."
"It should be. Learn your grammar rules."
"You're still teaching them to us."
"Yeah? Well, I learned proper grammar when I was in second grade. BE ASHAMED."
"*cries*"

I digress.

As I was saying, there was one commenter on this Miley Cyrus video (Party in the USA) that made me want to run around the street naked while pulling out clumps of my hair. The big debate going on (I say this as if it was more than half-literate idiots arguing over Miley's leg-spreading habits) was about Miley's outfit in the video. In case you're intelligent and haven't watched the music video, she's wearing short shorts, cowboy boots, and a semi low cut shirt that sometimes shows her bra. Everyone was talking about her outfit like it was a national emergency. ("OMG, Miley Cyrus is SEVENTEEN and has BOOBS.") Many were defending her, many were criticizing her, and many were masturbating. There was one girl defending her that really caught my eye. Not because she was coming up with any brilliant reasons why Miley shouldn't be called a hussy, but because she commented the same thing about every hour or so.

The gist of her argument was this (and grammatically correct because I honestly can't reproduce the garbage she came up with): Miley's not a whore, she just likes to dress cute. I wear the same things as she does in this video and it's not because I'm a whore, it's because I'm cute and guys like it.

My immediate response (and this even beat out the fact that she basically just called herself a whore) was this, "If you're not a whore, then don't spell like one."
I realized later that she was being contradictory in her argument and added that to the list of things I'd like to tell her.

I'm not going to get into the Miley debate because I couldn't care less about what she wears or how she dances. I don't like Miley and her song nearly made my ears bleed (I muted my speakers about a minute into the video so I could read poorly written comments in peace), but I seriously don't care what she wears. Every other Disney kid has become a hugely famous yet inappropriate star. She's just following the trend.
What I want to get into is the actual art of debating. Rhetoric, if you will. In my opinion, if you want to be taken seriously in any written debate or argument, your writing must be impeccable (i.e. little to no spelling/grammar mistakes; proficiency in vocabulary). Even if we're talking about just how short Miley's shorts are, if you come at me with this: 'your just gellous cuz ur not as preti as her,' I'm going to punt whatever tiny animal you may own. And I know you own a tiny animal. You need something to think for you, you brain-dead sycophant.
The point is, even if your argument is full of holes and circles and false information, if you present it well in written words, I'll take it seriously. It doesn't have to be good enough to earn an A in an honors English class, it just has to be structured, spelled correctly, and grammatically sound. That's it. That's all I'm asking for.

Is that really such a tall order, English speakers of the world? I realize our public education sucks more than the malaria epidemic in Bangladesh, but if you just sit down with a book, or pay attention in English class every so often, I PROMISE you, you WILL learn how to write/speak correctly. (I also suggest you avoid YouTube comments, trending topics on twitter, and most things posted on myspace/facebook.)

/rant