Okay, this has been bothering me for HOURS now, and I know I won't be able to sleep until I vent about it. I don't wanna do it over text, either, 'cause that'll take too effing long.
I'm going to touch on a couple different things here. I may have already ranted about the first one, but I don't care at the moment. I'm gonna do it again.
Listen up, boys. When I tell you I think your eyes are pretty, you don't fucking tell me my rack is pretty. You're talking about the bags of fat and glands I've had to carry around for eight years. I had to start wearing bras every day - uncomfortable bras. I had to wear sports bras whenever I was playing sports (which, for the record, I played year round starting in 8th grade, and from 3rd-7th grade I played during the school year). When I got into high school, I had to wear TWO sports bras when I played volleyball 'cause otherwise they'd get caught in the net if I got too close. These are the things that ache like migraines once a month. These are the things I've spent most of my life covering up because I don't like to look like a hooker. So don't fucking compliment my boobs.
And the last thing: If you're bitter about me moving on, you don't tell my BOSS you think I'm a slut who shows off her boobs too much. Um, excuse me? What the hell even prompted this? Especially since we happened to be in the same room as an exotic dancer with a boob job and low-cut shirt? For your information, I was wearing two shirts, one tank top and one v-neck shirt over it...TO AVOID SHOWING TOO MUCH CLEAVAGE. And the last time you saw me? Um, yeah, a spaghetti strap shirt underneath a purple boat neck top with minimal cleavage showing. The time before that? A long-sleeve shirt. Tonight? I Threadless shirt that went all the way up to my neck.
Don't go talking shit to my boss because you're sad the college girl you made out with once is no longer looking for a rebound and thinks you're creepy as hell. Go get a nose reduction, cretin.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
English 126 - Creative Nonfiction Assignment
(Note: This was written for my creative writing class. It is entirely true and not exaggerated. I ask that you don't judge me or my friend for what happened, but feel free to judge the only boy mentioned in this piece.)
It was late in an early sort of way. Late because I was fully conscious of the time I had to be awake for work in the morning, early because I didn't really want the night to end.
I can't really remember if the TV was on--not that we exactly needed it; we were each others sources of entertainment for the night. And what a night it was. It was almost like a regular, every day sleepover, the kinds we had the last time when we were all splitting up. I guess it was a sad imitation of those times. We weren't just saying temporary goodbyes. Teresa wouldn't be back on this coast anytime soon.
Still, it was nice to pretend there was nothing to worry about and no one to say goodbye to. I think, maybe, the worst part was knowing I wanted to go in Teresa's place. I wanted to go back there and live the rest of my college years in that tiny little cow town that every so often filled with the scent of freshly made chocolate and M&Ms. She was going back and I...I was stuck here for God only knows how long.
It wasn't all bad. She was just one friend out of many. I still had Coco, Jenelle, Angela, Matt...
Matt.
Glancing at Coco I realized I wasn't the only one trying to hide away some deeper part of myself for the sake of making this party a happy last memory of San Diego for Teresa. She had just been dumped by her first true love. And me? Well, things weren't going so well on that battlefield for me either.
Coco was diligently writing in my physics notebook, responding to a letter I had composed to her weeks before while bored at work. Her face was strangely blank but I didn't really think about it at the moment because Teresa had disappeared with Angela to talk about the stuff they always wanted to talk about: boys and sex. Used to this, Jenelle and I made the most of their absence and talked about some mundane topic that I can't quite recall. Coco was between us, fully focused on the task at hand. Finally, she handed it to me.
I read through the first two paragraphs and looked up at her laughing. I was cut short by the haunted glaze of her eyes, so I kept on reading.
'As your best friend I have to tell you something. You might be mad at me for it but you deserve to know anyway... Matt and I screwed around.'
She went on from there to explain that it had made her feel terrible and that it shouldn't have happened. The entire time I was reading, she had this expression of abject fear--the kind of fear that makes you want to cry.
It's hard to explain why I did what I did. All I knew was that some guy that I had wasted three years of my life on had stabbed me in the back, twisted the knife, and walked away without a guilty conscience. In his wake, he left two girls--best friends--who didn't even know the basics of how to deal with the stupidity of young men.
Not a single tear escaped me as I reached over to her and pulled her into the tightest hug I could manage.
It was late in an early sort of way. Late because I was fully conscious of the time I had to be awake for work in the morning, early because I didn't really want the night to end.
I can't really remember if the TV was on--not that we exactly needed it; we were each others sources of entertainment for the night. And what a night it was. It was almost like a regular, every day sleepover, the kinds we had the last time when we were all splitting up. I guess it was a sad imitation of those times. We weren't just saying temporary goodbyes. Teresa wouldn't be back on this coast anytime soon.
Still, it was nice to pretend there was nothing to worry about and no one to say goodbye to. I think, maybe, the worst part was knowing I wanted to go in Teresa's place. I wanted to go back there and live the rest of my college years in that tiny little cow town that every so often filled with the scent of freshly made chocolate and M&Ms. She was going back and I...I was stuck here for God only knows how long.
It wasn't all bad. She was just one friend out of many. I still had Coco, Jenelle, Angela, Matt...
Matt.
Glancing at Coco I realized I wasn't the only one trying to hide away some deeper part of myself for the sake of making this party a happy last memory of San Diego for Teresa. She had just been dumped by her first true love. And me? Well, things weren't going so well on that battlefield for me either.
Coco was diligently writing in my physics notebook, responding to a letter I had composed to her weeks before while bored at work. Her face was strangely blank but I didn't really think about it at the moment because Teresa had disappeared with Angela to talk about the stuff they always wanted to talk about: boys and sex. Used to this, Jenelle and I made the most of their absence and talked about some mundane topic that I can't quite recall. Coco was between us, fully focused on the task at hand. Finally, she handed it to me.
I read through the first two paragraphs and looked up at her laughing. I was cut short by the haunted glaze of her eyes, so I kept on reading.
'As your best friend I have to tell you something. You might be mad at me for it but you deserve to know anyway... Matt and I screwed around.'
She went on from there to explain that it had made her feel terrible and that it shouldn't have happened. The entire time I was reading, she had this expression of abject fear--the kind of fear that makes you want to cry.
It's hard to explain why I did what I did. All I knew was that some guy that I had wasted three years of my life on had stabbed me in the back, twisted the knife, and walked away without a guilty conscience. In his wake, he left two girls--best friends--who didn't even know the basics of how to deal with the stupidity of young men.
Not a single tear escaped me as I reached over to her and pulled her into the tightest hug I could manage.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Novel Writing Assignment
So, I was told I needed to find images of what my characters look like ideally. Instead of posting them all in this, I'll just put a link to my twitpic account so you can see them yourself. :)
http://twitpic.com/photos/slytherinchick
It took me FOREVER to find Marid. I went through about 20 pages of Middle Eastern young adult males on Getty images, narrowed it down to multiracial males, and eventually found my Marid. I seriously sat here in my computer chair with my mouth open in awe for a full minute when I found him. He's not completely perfect, though. For example, I describe him as having "dark eyes," and I always envisioned him a little more masculine in the jaw and lips, but...I saw this collection of photos with this Middle Eastern man and I realized I'd been going the wrong direction. Alexa describes him as "beautiful" and that's what comes to mind when I look at this picture. So all I need to do is photoshop his eyes to make them dark brown and he's absolutely perfect. :D
The others were a bit easier to find. I kind of realized I wanted Megan Fox to 'play' Aeris after Alexa asks if Megan Fox is Aeris' mirror in the Regular world. At first I had Angelina Jolie's name in there, but then I remembered that Angelina doesn't have blue eyes or wavy dark brown hair. Guess who does? :P
For Jon, all I knew was that he had to be classically handsome, muscular, blonde, blue-eyed, and a little arrogant looking. Who better than Chris Pine as Captain Kirk? He fits the bill perfectly.
Finding Alexa was harder. She's honestly the most average girl you can think of. Average height, medium-length brunette hair (stick straight), average build (though slightly muscular in the shoulders from years of softball), brown eyes, average size lips, average size nose, average size forehead...you get the idea. She's just average. Finding an average famous person is the hardest feat in the world, so I tried two outlets to finding my Alexa. I Google searched 'average brunette young adult female' and came up with nothing, so I checked all my other picture folders that I keep 'characters' in and found Leighton Meester of Gossip Girl fame. I personally think Leighton is gorgeous, so she's a little too pretty to be Alexa, but I found a couple pictures where she's got on casual clothes and very little makeup and those seemed to work out.
My second route to finding Alexa was using Getty again. I found the photographer who did Marid's pictures and I just skimmed through a couple pages of her photos until I found a picture of a very average (yet still attractive) young woman. She's not ugly, she's not breathtakingly gorgeous, she's just...average.
I still haven't decided if I've found the perfect Alexa yet. She's the only one I didn't have a "That's the one!" moment for, so...she's still up in the air. I'll be sure to keep you updated on my hunt, though. :)
http://twitpic.com/photos/slytherinchick
It took me FOREVER to find Marid. I went through about 20 pages of Middle Eastern young adult males on Getty images, narrowed it down to multiracial males, and eventually found my Marid. I seriously sat here in my computer chair with my mouth open in awe for a full minute when I found him. He's not completely perfect, though. For example, I describe him as having "dark eyes," and I always envisioned him a little more masculine in the jaw and lips, but...I saw this collection of photos with this Middle Eastern man and I realized I'd been going the wrong direction. Alexa describes him as "beautiful" and that's what comes to mind when I look at this picture. So all I need to do is photoshop his eyes to make them dark brown and he's absolutely perfect. :D
The others were a bit easier to find. I kind of realized I wanted Megan Fox to 'play' Aeris after Alexa asks if Megan Fox is Aeris' mirror in the Regular world. At first I had Angelina Jolie's name in there, but then I remembered that Angelina doesn't have blue eyes or wavy dark brown hair. Guess who does? :P
For Jon, all I knew was that he had to be classically handsome, muscular, blonde, blue-eyed, and a little arrogant looking. Who better than Chris Pine as Captain Kirk? He fits the bill perfectly.
Finding Alexa was harder. She's honestly the most average girl you can think of. Average height, medium-length brunette hair (stick straight), average build (though slightly muscular in the shoulders from years of softball), brown eyes, average size lips, average size nose, average size forehead...you get the idea. She's just average. Finding an average famous person is the hardest feat in the world, so I tried two outlets to finding my Alexa. I Google searched 'average brunette young adult female' and came up with nothing, so I checked all my other picture folders that I keep 'characters' in and found Leighton Meester of Gossip Girl fame. I personally think Leighton is gorgeous, so she's a little too pretty to be Alexa, but I found a couple pictures where she's got on casual clothes and very little makeup and those seemed to work out.
My second route to finding Alexa was using Getty again. I found the photographer who did Marid's pictures and I just skimmed through a couple pages of her photos until I found a picture of a very average (yet still attractive) young woman. She's not ugly, she's not breathtakingly gorgeous, she's just...average.
I still haven't decided if I've found the perfect Alexa yet. She's the only one I didn't have a "That's the one!" moment for, so...she's still up in the air. I'll be sure to keep you updated on my hunt, though. :)
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Confessions, Questions
Oh, boy, here we go.
Confession time.
1. I said I was going to watch every season of Pokemon ever made on this awesome website shown to me by @3sixty5days...but I never even went back to the website after I bookmarked it initially.
2. I said I was gonna try playing WoW. Instead, I played MapleStory. Once.
3. I needed to have my ten page paper done by 5 PM last Friday. It still only has two sentences written and it's almost Sunday.
4. I wanted to hang out with Lucy before she left for school, but everything got so hectic while my cousin was here that I ran out of opportunities.
5. I ate McDonald's three times in a row for breakfast last week, spending a grand total of $12.40 that I will never get back...and probably adding on ten pounds that will take a year off my life.
6. Instead of editing, I've been writing scenes for the sequel. 10,000 words worth of scenes.
The point of this is that I'm TERRIBLE at setting goals and achieving them. Seriously. How have I made it almost 20 years? How did I graduate high school? How am I actually not on academic probation in college?
It's gotten to the point where I'm legitimately worried for myself. What am I doing with my life right now? I'm focusing on stupid boys and how to throw the perfect birthday party and how to spend my summer in bliss. I should be focusing on school and work and my friends.
I need to seriously rethink my life and what I want to do with it, 'cause right now I have no idea. I don't know what I want to do after school. I don't even know where I want to go after I'm done at Grossmont. Ideally, I'd love to get my Associates, go back to Etown, graduate with a 3.5, write a best-selling novel, fall in love, and be the next JK Rowling. Realistically, I never had the money to go to Etown, even when I was there, and I'm riding a 2.6 GPA that will be incredibly hard to bring up, and with my dismal writing skills and lack of ambition to actually edit the one piece of work I somewhat like and am proud of, I'll never get that best-seller or be as rich as the queen of England. Not to mention that every boy I know now is either not my type, too stupid to be in nerdfighterlike with me, or a smoker.
So, here are the questions I need to answer:
1. What do you do with a BA in English?
2. What is my life going to be?
3. Four years of college, and plenty of knowledge...ahem. Sorry. Continue to number four.
4. How much would I need to save to go back to PA?
5. Can I afford to rent and/or pay for PA State tuition?
6. How much effort can I put into my novel while going to school and working? Is it worth it?
7. Do I really want to focus on music as well as English, or should I just stick to English after this semester?
8. Am I just going to sit back and let them come to me, or do I give chase? How do I know if it's right?
I know I act like I don't care about these things a lot, but in reality I'm always thinking about them. I don't usually like to explain this kind of stuff verbally, and since most of my more personal interactions are done in person, I just don't talk about it. I don't want to say it wrong or hear a long-winded speech about it. I don't want people to make a fuss about it. I'm doing enough fussing of my own.
I'm always open to advice or discussions on this stuff...so long as it's written down. I do need help. I do. Just don't make a big deal out of it if you do want to help me. I'm not freaking out on the outside, so you shouldn't either.
And for the record, I'm not anxious about it all. I've got a lot of time to figure it all out. I'm way too laid back to get nail-biting nervous about stuff that will happen in the next couple years. So, no worries there. :P
Confession time.
1. I said I was going to watch every season of Pokemon ever made on this awesome website shown to me by @3sixty5days...but I never even went back to the website after I bookmarked it initially.
2. I said I was gonna try playing WoW. Instead, I played MapleStory. Once.
3. I needed to have my ten page paper done by 5 PM last Friday. It still only has two sentences written and it's almost Sunday.
4. I wanted to hang out with Lucy before she left for school, but everything got so hectic while my cousin was here that I ran out of opportunities.
5. I ate McDonald's three times in a row for breakfast last week, spending a grand total of $12.40 that I will never get back...and probably adding on ten pounds that will take a year off my life.
6. Instead of editing, I've been writing scenes for the sequel. 10,000 words worth of scenes.
The point of this is that I'm TERRIBLE at setting goals and achieving them. Seriously. How have I made it almost 20 years? How did I graduate high school? How am I actually not on academic probation in college?
It's gotten to the point where I'm legitimately worried for myself. What am I doing with my life right now? I'm focusing on stupid boys and how to throw the perfect birthday party and how to spend my summer in bliss. I should be focusing on school and work and my friends.
I need to seriously rethink my life and what I want to do with it, 'cause right now I have no idea. I don't know what I want to do after school. I don't even know where I want to go after I'm done at Grossmont. Ideally, I'd love to get my Associates, go back to Etown, graduate with a 3.5, write a best-selling novel, fall in love, and be the next JK Rowling. Realistically, I never had the money to go to Etown, even when I was there, and I'm riding a 2.6 GPA that will be incredibly hard to bring up, and with my dismal writing skills and lack of ambition to actually edit the one piece of work I somewhat like and am proud of, I'll never get that best-seller or be as rich as the queen of England. Not to mention that every boy I know now is either not my type, too stupid to be in nerdfighterlike with me, or a smoker.
So, here are the questions I need to answer:
1. What do you do with a BA in English?
2. What is my life going to be?
3. Four years of college, and plenty of knowledge...ahem. Sorry. Continue to number four.
4. How much would I need to save to go back to PA?
5. Can I afford to rent and/or pay for PA State tuition?
6. How much effort can I put into my novel while going to school and working? Is it worth it?
7. Do I really want to focus on music as well as English, or should I just stick to English after this semester?
8. Am I just going to sit back and let them come to me, or do I give chase? How do I know if it's right?
I know I act like I don't care about these things a lot, but in reality I'm always thinking about them. I don't usually like to explain this kind of stuff verbally, and since most of my more personal interactions are done in person, I just don't talk about it. I don't want to say it wrong or hear a long-winded speech about it. I don't want people to make a fuss about it. I'm doing enough fussing of my own.
I'm always open to advice or discussions on this stuff...so long as it's written down. I do need help. I do. Just don't make a big deal out of it if you do want to help me. I'm not freaking out on the outside, so you shouldn't either.
And for the record, I'm not anxious about it all. I've got a lot of time to figure it all out. I'm way too laid back to get nail-biting nervous about stuff that will happen in the next couple years. So, no worries there. :P
Sunday, January 17, 2010
sffhdkdsh;jkhg School
How did the spring semester sneak up on me like this?
I mean, really, you'd think I'd have seen this coming.
But, no. Not me. I've just been lolligagging around, wasting time and IQ points.
Why am I freaking out?
Let me tell you why.
I have a ten page paper due by 5 PM Friday. THIS Friday.
Ask me if I've started it. Go on. Ask me.
"Have you started it yet, Karaline?"
The answer: a resounding...
Yes.
I started it.
And by start, I mean...
I've written two sentences of the intro and done a little research.
GAH!
I think I'm taking a sick day tomorrow so I can sit at home, be miserable, and write a bunch of shit about Tchaikovsky. Wish me luck!
I mean, really, you'd think I'd have seen this coming.
But, no. Not me. I've just been lolligagging around, wasting time and IQ points.
Why am I freaking out?
Let me tell you why.
I have a ten page paper due by 5 PM Friday. THIS Friday.
Ask me if I've started it. Go on. Ask me.
"Have you started it yet, Karaline?"
The answer: a resounding...
Yes.
I started it.
And by start, I mean...
I've written two sentences of the intro and done a little research.
GAH!
I think I'm taking a sick day tomorrow so I can sit at home, be miserable, and write a bunch of shit about Tchaikovsky. Wish me luck!
Saturday, January 9, 2010
White Collar
I don't watch TV. I really don't. But every so often, something catches my eye, whether it's an interesting story line or an attractive main character. But I'm totally hooked when it's got both those things.
Let me tell you, White Collar has both those things. For starters, Matt Bomer is freakin' gorgeous. Plus, he plays a badass con artist with a penchant for high rolling and women. All good things if it's put into the right story. I don't know who wrote White Collar, but they definitely put him into the right story. It's not your typical crime drama with strangely murdered people or twenty-six rape victims. It's high fashion crimes (forgery, tax fraud, etc.) solved by an FBI agent and a con artist he chased for most of his career. Add a subplot romance between the con artist and his missing girlfriend, and you've got one hell of a show.
The finale probably aired weeks ago, but I sort of forgot about the show until Nicole randomly texted me about looking at Matt Bomer and his gorgeousness. I knew the name sounded familiar and as I typed it into Google, I realized who he was. The pictures that popped up seconds later only confirmed my realization.
I finally watched the finale on Hulu (thank God for Hulu) just a few minutes ago, and the ending absolutely blew my mind. For the entire episode, you think this guy (who isn't really an FBI agent) has Neil's (Matt Bomer) girlfriend and that the entire set up for the episode is Neil finally getting down to the bottom of who kidnapped Kate (his girlfriend). He DOES find out who kidnapped Kate, but it's not who anyone expected it to be. Seriously blew. My. Mind. I couldn't believe it. The only reason I'm writing all this is because I'm still in shock and I had to tell someone.
So, there you go. A blurb on one of the few TV shows I actually watch. You should watch it if you don't already. It's really well done, very creative, hilarious, and all-around awesome. Besides, there's a really attractive man in it. You can't say no to that.
Unless you're a straight dude. But there are attractive women in the show as well.
Go watch it. Now. Hulu won't help you much, 'cause they only have the season finale up. I would suggest YouTube or iTunes. :)
Let me tell you, White Collar has both those things. For starters, Matt Bomer is freakin' gorgeous. Plus, he plays a badass con artist with a penchant for high rolling and women. All good things if it's put into the right story. I don't know who wrote White Collar, but they definitely put him into the right story. It's not your typical crime drama with strangely murdered people or twenty-six rape victims. It's high fashion crimes (forgery, tax fraud, etc.) solved by an FBI agent and a con artist he chased for most of his career. Add a subplot romance between the con artist and his missing girlfriend, and you've got one hell of a show.
The finale probably aired weeks ago, but I sort of forgot about the show until Nicole randomly texted me about looking at Matt Bomer and his gorgeousness. I knew the name sounded familiar and as I typed it into Google, I realized who he was. The pictures that popped up seconds later only confirmed my realization.
I finally watched the finale on Hulu (thank God for Hulu) just a few minutes ago, and the ending absolutely blew my mind. For the entire episode, you think this guy (who isn't really an FBI agent) has Neil's (Matt Bomer) girlfriend and that the entire set up for the episode is Neil finally getting down to the bottom of who kidnapped Kate (his girlfriend). He DOES find out who kidnapped Kate, but it's not who anyone expected it to be. Seriously blew. My. Mind. I couldn't believe it. The only reason I'm writing all this is because I'm still in shock and I had to tell someone.
So, there you go. A blurb on one of the few TV shows I actually watch. You should watch it if you don't already. It's really well done, very creative, hilarious, and all-around awesome. Besides, there's a really attractive man in it. You can't say no to that.
Unless you're a straight dude. But there are attractive women in the show as well.
Go watch it. Now. Hulu won't help you much, 'cause they only have the season finale up. I would suggest YouTube or iTunes. :)
Friday, January 8, 2010
On Being a Part-Time Mom and Aspiring Novelist
So, I finished my first week of work. It's exhausting. It's frustrating. It's a crash course in parenthood. It's totally worth it.
I'm so glad I wasn't that girl in high school. You know the one. The one who got into adult life too soon and ended up knocked up her junior or senior year of high school with a baby daddy that didn't want anything to do with raising a kid. I honestly can't imagine how girls handle that at 16/17/18. Even now, when I'm almost 20, I can't imagine having my own child. I don't think people really understand what it means to be a parent. It means constant attention, sleepless nights, letting some things go all to hell, spending more money than you have, getting stressed out, wanting to just give up and knowing you can't, dealing with the constant worry of injuries or death. It's a LOT to handle. I only have to deal with these two kids from 8-5 every weekday. I don't think I could go a full 24 hours with them. I certainly couldn't handle twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week with them.
In short, I'm just really glad I wasn't that girl and that I've never had a pregnancy scare. I'm glad I'm beating teen pregnancy in a couple weeks. I'm glad I get to experience what it's like to deal with a fussy eight month old and a two year old who needs constant attention at the same time. I'm learning what it's like to be a part-time mom. I'm learning that just picking up the eight month old and carrying him around to all the windows will calm him down. I'm learning that if the two year old doesn't respond when I say things nicely, I have to add a little steel and authority and then she'll listen. I'm learning that, in order to get a two-year-old to take a nap, I need to bargain with her.
But that's enough about nanny duty. Let's move on to writing. You know, that thing I used to do before December started?
I edited the first 20-something pages of my NaNoWriMo novel right after November ended. Then I set it aside for most of December and just picked it up again a couple days ago. I now have the first 30 pages covered in red and black ink and bright yellow post-it notes. I discovered that I absolutely HATED a scene. Isn't that weird? When I wrote it, I thought it was awesome. And now, two months later, I'm thinking, "Why does this even exist? I realize it's important to the plot, but it's choppy, corny, not spontaneous enough, and way too dialogue-y." The problem was, I couldn't just ax the scene. It IS important to the plot because it sets up the main romance of the novel and gives more background information on another main character. Also, it shows the MAIN main character interacting with male friends that she has no romantic interest in, which is EXTREMELY important (though the average reader might not pick up on it). So, instead of actually editing the two and a half pages of slop, I wrote myself a note saying:
'Some of this section I really like, and some of it I really don't. Keep the general chain of events, but add more chemistry, detail, characterization and movement/plot.'
Basically, I cheated. When I go through and type up the edited draft, I'll have to rewrite the entire section with just that memo to myself to help me.
It's not like I'm being lazy. (You can call me on this. I totally am being lazy.) I haven't been in much of a writing mood lately and that affects my editing skills as well. How am I supposed to write something better when I can't seem to write anything at all?
But I do need to hurry this editing business up. I can still get my novel bound and shipped to me for free until June, but I want it to be the second draft so I'm not embarrassed to show it around. Besides, Jenelle's still working on the cover art, so I've got time to do the editing stuff.
All that said, I think I'm going to try and edit 30 pages a month from now on. So...
January: Up to page 60 should be edited
February: Up to page 90
March: Up to page 120
April: All 137 pages
May: Entire novel reviewed and revised
June: Send manuscript to CreateSpace
That's my rough time line. Knowing my work/sleep schedule, though, I'll probably be behind and will have to use May for finishing up the editing. Which will suck, but I'm gonna do it.
And now, I'm going to print pages 31-60, attach them to my clipboard, and immediately abandon them to play Sims. :)
I'm so glad I wasn't that girl in high school. You know the one. The one who got into adult life too soon and ended up knocked up her junior or senior year of high school with a baby daddy that didn't want anything to do with raising a kid. I honestly can't imagine how girls handle that at 16/17/18. Even now, when I'm almost 20, I can't imagine having my own child. I don't think people really understand what it means to be a parent. It means constant attention, sleepless nights, letting some things go all to hell, spending more money than you have, getting stressed out, wanting to just give up and knowing you can't, dealing with the constant worry of injuries or death. It's a LOT to handle. I only have to deal with these two kids from 8-5 every weekday. I don't think I could go a full 24 hours with them. I certainly couldn't handle twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week with them.
In short, I'm just really glad I wasn't that girl and that I've never had a pregnancy scare. I'm glad I'm beating teen pregnancy in a couple weeks. I'm glad I get to experience what it's like to deal with a fussy eight month old and a two year old who needs constant attention at the same time. I'm learning what it's like to be a part-time mom. I'm learning that just picking up the eight month old and carrying him around to all the windows will calm him down. I'm learning that if the two year old doesn't respond when I say things nicely, I have to add a little steel and authority and then she'll listen. I'm learning that, in order to get a two-year-old to take a nap, I need to bargain with her.
But that's enough about nanny duty. Let's move on to writing. You know, that thing I used to do before December started?
I edited the first 20-something pages of my NaNoWriMo novel right after November ended. Then I set it aside for most of December and just picked it up again a couple days ago. I now have the first 30 pages covered in red and black ink and bright yellow post-it notes. I discovered that I absolutely HATED a scene. Isn't that weird? When I wrote it, I thought it was awesome. And now, two months later, I'm thinking, "Why does this even exist? I realize it's important to the plot, but it's choppy, corny, not spontaneous enough, and way too dialogue-y." The problem was, I couldn't just ax the scene. It IS important to the plot because it sets up the main romance of the novel and gives more background information on another main character. Also, it shows the MAIN main character interacting with male friends that she has no romantic interest in, which is EXTREMELY important (though the average reader might not pick up on it). So, instead of actually editing the two and a half pages of slop, I wrote myself a note saying:
'Some of this section I really like, and some of it I really don't. Keep the general chain of events, but add more chemistry, detail, characterization and movement/plot.'
Basically, I cheated. When I go through and type up the edited draft, I'll have to rewrite the entire section with just that memo to myself to help me.
It's not like I'm being lazy. (You can call me on this. I totally am being lazy.) I haven't been in much of a writing mood lately and that affects my editing skills as well. How am I supposed to write something better when I can't seem to write anything at all?
But I do need to hurry this editing business up. I can still get my novel bound and shipped to me for free until June, but I want it to be the second draft so I'm not embarrassed to show it around. Besides, Jenelle's still working on the cover art, so I've got time to do the editing stuff.
All that said, I think I'm going to try and edit 30 pages a month from now on. So...
January: Up to page 60 should be edited
February: Up to page 90
March: Up to page 120
April: All 137 pages
May: Entire novel reviewed and revised
June: Send manuscript to CreateSpace
That's my rough time line. Knowing my work/sleep schedule, though, I'll probably be behind and will have to use May for finishing up the editing. Which will suck, but I'm gonna do it.
And now, I'm going to print pages 31-60, attach them to my clipboard, and immediately abandon them to play Sims. :)
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