Rawr Rawr Rawr

The inner workings of human to human chemistry are beyond me, but at the moment, I'm really pissed about them.

So, I lose a guy and a best friend. I cry about it, I bitch about it, I blog about it. I'm over it. Almost. Now I need to rebound from it. Lo and behold, a new guy is provided by the fates. And that guy happens to like me. And I happen to like him. And we happen to have a shit ton of chemistry. Oh, and he's seeking a rebound as well.

It would be perfect if Claire hadn't called him. If I didn't have to incorporate Claire's feelings into this mess, my life would be simple. But no. The nervous butterflies and the pins of guilt are warring in my stomach right now. What do I say to him when I see him? Do I tell him that he's a guilty pleasure? Do I tell him I broke a promise to be with him?

The real question is, if I legitimately like him, is he even a rebound?

And, of course, in the middle of it all is a best friend who can't understand why I would break a promise in the first place. Because I don't. Ask anyone. I'm unreliable when it comes to due dates and birthday presents, but I'm anything but selfish.

And I did something completely selfish.

They can't comprehend it. "You mean, Karaline's a real human being? Gasp!"

Yes, my friends. I am more than a robot. I can be a bitch and I can be self-centered and I can blow off friends for a boy.

The fact of the matter is, this is a rare occurrence. When I'm a bitch, you probably deserve it. When I'm self-centered, I'm probably bluffing. When there's a boy I like, I bring him into my group of friends, and if he isn't scared off after that, he's probably a keeper.

I legitimately like Mike. I could say I don't care what happens if I pursue a relationship with him, but I can't. I do care. I don't care if Claire bitches about me or doesn't want to speak to me again. So long as she bitches TO me and not about me to someone else. That's what started my anger and, therefore, this blog. I don't give a shit what Claire does so long as she's open about it to me. What I care about is Jenelle. She doesn't know what to think or which side to be on. As far as she knows, I'm just a whore who breaks promises. It hurts to know that a best friend would automatically believe that assumption, but...that's life, I guess.

I hate to cut this short, but I need to leave in a few minutes to go look at an apartment with Jenelle. Hopefully, we'll be able to talk it all over. And maybe when I meet up with Mike afterward, I won't feel so guilty about feeling like this about him.