Okay, this has been bothering me for HOURS now, and I know I won't be able to sleep until I vent about it. I don't wanna do it over text, either, 'cause that'll take too effing long.
I'm going to touch on a couple different things here. I may have already ranted about the first one, but I don't care at the moment. I'm gonna do it again.
Listen up, boys. When I tell you I think your eyes are pretty, you don't fucking tell me my rack is pretty. You're talking about the bags of fat and glands I've had to carry around for eight years. I had to start wearing bras every day - uncomfortable bras. I had to wear sports bras whenever I was playing sports (which, for the record, I played year round starting in 8th grade, and from 3rd-7th grade I played during the school year). When I got into high school, I had to wear TWO sports bras when I played volleyball 'cause otherwise they'd get caught in the net if I got too close. These are the things that ache like migraines once a month. These are the things I've spent most of my life covering up because I don't like to look like a hooker. So don't fucking compliment my boobs.
And the last thing: If you're bitter about me moving on, you don't tell my BOSS you think I'm a slut who shows off her boobs too much. Um, excuse me? What the hell even prompted this? Especially since we happened to be in the same room as an exotic dancer with a boob job and low-cut shirt? For your information, I was wearing two shirts, one tank top and one v-neck shirt over it...TO AVOID SHOWING TOO MUCH CLEAVAGE. And the last time you saw me? Um, yeah, a spaghetti strap shirt underneath a purple boat neck top with minimal cleavage showing. The time before that? A long-sleeve shirt. Tonight? I Threadless shirt that went all the way up to my neck.
Don't go talking shit to my boss because you're sad the college girl you made out with once is no longer looking for a rebound and thinks you're creepy as hell. Go get a nose reduction, cretin.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Monday, February 15, 2010
English 126 - Creative Nonfiction Assignment
(Note: This was written for my creative writing class. It is entirely true and not exaggerated. I ask that you don't judge me or my friend for what happened, but feel free to judge the only boy mentioned in this piece.)
It was late in an early sort of way. Late because I was fully conscious of the time I had to be awake for work in the morning, early because I didn't really want the night to end.
I can't really remember if the TV was on--not that we exactly needed it; we were each others sources of entertainment for the night. And what a night it was. It was almost like a regular, every day sleepover, the kinds we had the last time when we were all splitting up. I guess it was a sad imitation of those times. We weren't just saying temporary goodbyes. Teresa wouldn't be back on this coast anytime soon.
Still, it was nice to pretend there was nothing to worry about and no one to say goodbye to. I think, maybe, the worst part was knowing I wanted to go in Teresa's place. I wanted to go back there and live the rest of my college years in that tiny little cow town that every so often filled with the scent of freshly made chocolate and M&Ms. She was going back and I...I was stuck here for God only knows how long.
It wasn't all bad. She was just one friend out of many. I still had Coco, Jenelle, Angela, Matt...
Matt.
Glancing at Coco I realized I wasn't the only one trying to hide away some deeper part of myself for the sake of making this party a happy last memory of San Diego for Teresa. She had just been dumped by her first true love. And me? Well, things weren't going so well on that battlefield for me either.
Coco was diligently writing in my physics notebook, responding to a letter I had composed to her weeks before while bored at work. Her face was strangely blank but I didn't really think about it at the moment because Teresa had disappeared with Angela to talk about the stuff they always wanted to talk about: boys and sex. Used to this, Jenelle and I made the most of their absence and talked about some mundane topic that I can't quite recall. Coco was between us, fully focused on the task at hand. Finally, she handed it to me.
I read through the first two paragraphs and looked up at her laughing. I was cut short by the haunted glaze of her eyes, so I kept on reading.
'As your best friend I have to tell you something. You might be mad at me for it but you deserve to know anyway... Matt and I screwed around.'
She went on from there to explain that it had made her feel terrible and that it shouldn't have happened. The entire time I was reading, she had this expression of abject fear--the kind of fear that makes you want to cry.
It's hard to explain why I did what I did. All I knew was that some guy that I had wasted three years of my life on had stabbed me in the back, twisted the knife, and walked away without a guilty conscience. In his wake, he left two girls--best friends--who didn't even know the basics of how to deal with the stupidity of young men.
Not a single tear escaped me as I reached over to her and pulled her into the tightest hug I could manage.
It was late in an early sort of way. Late because I was fully conscious of the time I had to be awake for work in the morning, early because I didn't really want the night to end.
I can't really remember if the TV was on--not that we exactly needed it; we were each others sources of entertainment for the night. And what a night it was. It was almost like a regular, every day sleepover, the kinds we had the last time when we were all splitting up. I guess it was a sad imitation of those times. We weren't just saying temporary goodbyes. Teresa wouldn't be back on this coast anytime soon.
Still, it was nice to pretend there was nothing to worry about and no one to say goodbye to. I think, maybe, the worst part was knowing I wanted to go in Teresa's place. I wanted to go back there and live the rest of my college years in that tiny little cow town that every so often filled with the scent of freshly made chocolate and M&Ms. She was going back and I...I was stuck here for God only knows how long.
It wasn't all bad. She was just one friend out of many. I still had Coco, Jenelle, Angela, Matt...
Matt.
Glancing at Coco I realized I wasn't the only one trying to hide away some deeper part of myself for the sake of making this party a happy last memory of San Diego for Teresa. She had just been dumped by her first true love. And me? Well, things weren't going so well on that battlefield for me either.
Coco was diligently writing in my physics notebook, responding to a letter I had composed to her weeks before while bored at work. Her face was strangely blank but I didn't really think about it at the moment because Teresa had disappeared with Angela to talk about the stuff they always wanted to talk about: boys and sex. Used to this, Jenelle and I made the most of their absence and talked about some mundane topic that I can't quite recall. Coco was between us, fully focused on the task at hand. Finally, she handed it to me.
I read through the first two paragraphs and looked up at her laughing. I was cut short by the haunted glaze of her eyes, so I kept on reading.
'As your best friend I have to tell you something. You might be mad at me for it but you deserve to know anyway... Matt and I screwed around.'
She went on from there to explain that it had made her feel terrible and that it shouldn't have happened. The entire time I was reading, she had this expression of abject fear--the kind of fear that makes you want to cry.
It's hard to explain why I did what I did. All I knew was that some guy that I had wasted three years of my life on had stabbed me in the back, twisted the knife, and walked away without a guilty conscience. In his wake, he left two girls--best friends--who didn't even know the basics of how to deal with the stupidity of young men.
Not a single tear escaped me as I reached over to her and pulled her into the tightest hug I could manage.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Novel Writing Assignment
So, I was told I needed to find images of what my characters look like ideally. Instead of posting them all in this, I'll just put a link to my twitpic account so you can see them yourself. :)
http://twitpic.com/photos/slytherinchick
It took me FOREVER to find Marid. I went through about 20 pages of Middle Eastern young adult males on Getty images, narrowed it down to multiracial males, and eventually found my Marid. I seriously sat here in my computer chair with my mouth open in awe for a full minute when I found him. He's not completely perfect, though. For example, I describe him as having "dark eyes," and I always envisioned him a little more masculine in the jaw and lips, but...I saw this collection of photos with this Middle Eastern man and I realized I'd been going the wrong direction. Alexa describes him as "beautiful" and that's what comes to mind when I look at this picture. So all I need to do is photoshop his eyes to make them dark brown and he's absolutely perfect. :D
The others were a bit easier to find. I kind of realized I wanted Megan Fox to 'play' Aeris after Alexa asks if Megan Fox is Aeris' mirror in the Regular world. At first I had Angelina Jolie's name in there, but then I remembered that Angelina doesn't have blue eyes or wavy dark brown hair. Guess who does? :P
For Jon, all I knew was that he had to be classically handsome, muscular, blonde, blue-eyed, and a little arrogant looking. Who better than Chris Pine as Captain Kirk? He fits the bill perfectly.
Finding Alexa was harder. She's honestly the most average girl you can think of. Average height, medium-length brunette hair (stick straight), average build (though slightly muscular in the shoulders from years of softball), brown eyes, average size lips, average size nose, average size forehead...you get the idea. She's just average. Finding an average famous person is the hardest feat in the world, so I tried two outlets to finding my Alexa. I Google searched 'average brunette young adult female' and came up with nothing, so I checked all my other picture folders that I keep 'characters' in and found Leighton Meester of Gossip Girl fame. I personally think Leighton is gorgeous, so she's a little too pretty to be Alexa, but I found a couple pictures where she's got on casual clothes and very little makeup and those seemed to work out.
My second route to finding Alexa was using Getty again. I found the photographer who did Marid's pictures and I just skimmed through a couple pages of her photos until I found a picture of a very average (yet still attractive) young woman. She's not ugly, she's not breathtakingly gorgeous, she's just...average.
I still haven't decided if I've found the perfect Alexa yet. She's the only one I didn't have a "That's the one!" moment for, so...she's still up in the air. I'll be sure to keep you updated on my hunt, though. :)
http://twitpic.com/photos/slytherinchick
It took me FOREVER to find Marid. I went through about 20 pages of Middle Eastern young adult males on Getty images, narrowed it down to multiracial males, and eventually found my Marid. I seriously sat here in my computer chair with my mouth open in awe for a full minute when I found him. He's not completely perfect, though. For example, I describe him as having "dark eyes," and I always envisioned him a little more masculine in the jaw and lips, but...I saw this collection of photos with this Middle Eastern man and I realized I'd been going the wrong direction. Alexa describes him as "beautiful" and that's what comes to mind when I look at this picture. So all I need to do is photoshop his eyes to make them dark brown and he's absolutely perfect. :D
The others were a bit easier to find. I kind of realized I wanted Megan Fox to 'play' Aeris after Alexa asks if Megan Fox is Aeris' mirror in the Regular world. At first I had Angelina Jolie's name in there, but then I remembered that Angelina doesn't have blue eyes or wavy dark brown hair. Guess who does? :P
For Jon, all I knew was that he had to be classically handsome, muscular, blonde, blue-eyed, and a little arrogant looking. Who better than Chris Pine as Captain Kirk? He fits the bill perfectly.
Finding Alexa was harder. She's honestly the most average girl you can think of. Average height, medium-length brunette hair (stick straight), average build (though slightly muscular in the shoulders from years of softball), brown eyes, average size lips, average size nose, average size forehead...you get the idea. She's just average. Finding an average famous person is the hardest feat in the world, so I tried two outlets to finding my Alexa. I Google searched 'average brunette young adult female' and came up with nothing, so I checked all my other picture folders that I keep 'characters' in and found Leighton Meester of Gossip Girl fame. I personally think Leighton is gorgeous, so she's a little too pretty to be Alexa, but I found a couple pictures where she's got on casual clothes and very little makeup and those seemed to work out.
My second route to finding Alexa was using Getty again. I found the photographer who did Marid's pictures and I just skimmed through a couple pages of her photos until I found a picture of a very average (yet still attractive) young woman. She's not ugly, she's not breathtakingly gorgeous, she's just...average.
I still haven't decided if I've found the perfect Alexa yet. She's the only one I didn't have a "That's the one!" moment for, so...she's still up in the air. I'll be sure to keep you updated on my hunt, though. :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)